your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
