Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
