Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You need Xanax blowdarts
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
