Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
