Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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