Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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