No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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