i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
