i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
