we have pet lesbian snakes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
