is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
