u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
