Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it's like iHOP with fire
I love having hate sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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