Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
