In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
