I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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