Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
