Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
