...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
