nut hugger
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
