Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
