dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
