We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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