Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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