He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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