I'm passing your future prison.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
