Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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