I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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