She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
