He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
