this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
