I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
