This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
