bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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