4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
