Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
