we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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