video games are the ultimate cock blocker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
