The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
