In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
