Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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