She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Randomize