love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
