I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
