I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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