Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize