My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Text me some of your sweat
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