I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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