these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
