Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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