..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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