I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
