what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
