i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
