im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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