Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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