just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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