I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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