my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
