Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
