i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
