it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
