hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
