ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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